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Couple Therapy

“We are never so vulnerable as when we love.” 

Sigmund Freud

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One of the first tasks in couples therapy is discovering patterns in your disagreements that make it difficult for you to have the connection you want and deserve. I believe if we can transform the couple’s relationships, we are not only helping them, but also helping them and their families for generations to come. Also, most of people’s toughest struggles are related to their relational issues so, as the relationship improves, the person's individual problems seem less challenging.

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My specialties in working with couples include:

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What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) was originated in the 1980's by Dr. Sue Johnson and Dr. Leslie Greenberg.  It was developed when Dr. Johnson noticed that her couples were not interested in fair fighting rules, negotiation skills, or insights. Love relationships are emotional bonds and not subject to all that verbal rationality.  Emotion has a rationality all its own, a necessity for survival.

Emotionally Focused Therapy focuses on the needs and longings we all have for love and acceptance– our attachment needs, especially from our romantic partners. Love makes sense when you can see that fighting and distance in a relationship happens when love and acceptance seem threatened. Often the response to threat is anger, criticism, or avoidance- a response that further threatens the relationship. A self-perpetuating cycle sets in that is hard to break free from.

We have relatively new science about how the brain operates under the stress of disconnection and the protection afforded by a safe trusting relationship. The way to build the safe relationship is through new safe experiences in therapy. 

I am member of the ICEEFT organization, which you can head to for more resources.

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